i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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