my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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