I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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