a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize