I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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