I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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