How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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