it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
