Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
