All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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