youre lurking in front of me
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
