I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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