I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
