I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
