He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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