Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
