I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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