i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
