he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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