the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
