Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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