you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
