Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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