She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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