the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
