From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
