everyone is single if you try hard enough
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
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just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
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So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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