my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
