You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
