Duck Duck Cougar?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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