Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
