theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
