His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
