Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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