3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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