hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize