just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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