if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I need help removing her.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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