If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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