What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
they're like a gay fantastic four
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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