We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
