Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
