I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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