She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
