I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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