Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
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I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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