i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
They have beer where we have blood.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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