went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
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You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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