I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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