their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
