I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
