sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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