nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
