But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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