hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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