3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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