I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
this beer tastes like vomit already
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
