I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
