i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
