my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
