Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
