these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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