I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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